oh ellen

I had a moment at the gym today. Watching Ellen, of course. At one point I didn't think I was going to be able to stop laughing. This is what I was watching:

name brand dropping

A couple of weeks ago I made a visit to Target (prescriptions, diapers, etc).  First of all, Target isn't a store that I can leave without spending at least $60.  I always start out, after wrangling Emma into a cart, by perusing the clothing department for a fabulous (and cheap) find.  Many of us know that Target's women's clothing department carries, for the most part, two brands: Mossimo and Merona, as well as the new Isaac Mizrahi and whatever up and coming designer they find to make awkward clothes at dirt cheap prices.  But the majority is Mossimo and Merona.  A few short years ago I was shopping on the Mossimo side of the department.  Shorter shorts, lower cut tee's and tighter jeans.  And now it's happened, or rather happened awhile ago and I just haven't noticed, but I have moved on over to the Merona side.  And oh my is it bleak!  Ok, that's totally an exaggeration, it's really not that bad.  On this particular visit I saw some cute capri jeans and decided to try them on.  I never try anything on. Ever. I truly believe there is nothing worse than the lighting in changing rooms.  But I wasn't up for the hassle of having to go back and return said capris.  So I waited for the big dressing room because I did not want to take Emma out of the cart and then break the news that she'd have to get back in.  Holy lord!!  Super cute on the hanger, super gross on my actual person.  As soon as I zipped and buttoned my belly button disappeared and I'm pretty sure the bottom of my bra was touching the top of these horrid capris.  I don't think I've ever exited a dressing quite so fast, even with having to maneuver the cart out of the tiny door.   I did not spend $60 that day.  I purchased what I came for and left, absolutely horrified at what I witnessed in that dressing room.  Target, I still love you, but I'll be keeping my distance for awhile.

Now, on to this week's clothing...nightmare?  Not sure exactly what to call it.  A let down?  I don't know, you decide when you're done reading.  

I get email's every few days from Gap with coupon codes and sale info and because we have a Gap card we get an extra discount.  There was a great code for 20% off and in addition to that Old Navy was still doing there Stuff N' Save program which is 20% off as well.  I have quite a few bags of old clothes piled up just waiting to be sold so I thought I'd take advantage of this awesome deal.  I picked out a few things, new pair of pants, a cute cardy from Gap and two pairs of sunglasses from Old Navy.  The awesome deal here is the sunglasses, both pairs on sale for $4 and I had a 40% discount. Woohoo!!  This is even better because I have been in search of cute sunglasses since my last two pairs have been broken (one pair by Eric, the other by Emma).  Now I just hope these sunglasses are as cute on as they are on the website.  We'll see.  Anyways.  I placed my order.  I gathered up all the old clothes and made a trip over to Plato's Closet to sell.  I've been selling clothes there since high school....high school is the key word here.  Emma and I got there when they opened so we wouldn't have to wait and hung around for the 10 minutes it took to sort through what they wanted.  Keep in mind here I had two full bags of clothes stuffed to the brim.  They called me over and offered me $9.89 for two things.  A pair of Abercrombie shorts (will explain those bad boys later) and a pair of AE jeans which I was very anxious to get rid of because I will never ever be a size 14 again.  I picked my jaw up off the floor, collected my money and two bags and headed out.  I was so totally bummed.  Why didn't they want my clothes?!  Am I that un-hip? That un-cool?  And god forbid, that un-fashionable??  

The answer: No!  A few hours later I came back to reality and REALIZED that Plato's Closet is a store for teeny boppers to pawn off their Abercrombie & Fitch, Aeropostale, American Eagle, size 00 castoffs.  Not a store that is going to take my Old Navy, MERONA, Layers and JCrew discards.  Ok, so no more Plato's Closet, now where do I go?  After a little bit of online searching I found two places- Buffalo Exchange and Crossroads Trading.  Both stores pay on the spot (I'm not a fan of consignment).  Emma and I headed over there today.  After yesterdays disappointment I wasn't expecting much but 20 minutes later the teeny bopper salesperson (they're everywhere!) called me over and offered me $52 for half my stuff. DONE DEAL!!  I was so thrilled, and a little bit shocked.  Thank you, Crossroads Trading!!  I'm so glad I found a new place to take all my old crap clothes!  

Now, the explanation for the Abercrombie & Fitch shorts I was unfortunately hanging onto.  I bought them about a month after Emma was born when I was all of 118lbs.  Size 6. So cute.  But you know what, inappropriately too short! Glad they are out of my closet and no longer taunting me.  So thank you Plato's Closet, thank you for that, taking those off my hands.

 

Twitter. Facebook. MySpace. LinkedIn. Meetup. 

All social networking sites.  Also, incredible time wasters!  Looking back on the last, I don't know, however long I've been on these sites I can think of about a million other things I could have been doing.  I had a MySpace page in high school, I think, and have had one ever since. Facebook I've had for at least 3 or 4 years, LinkedIn for a few months, Meetup for about a year and Twitter is the newest; going on about two weeks with that one.

A few weeks ago I deleted my MySpace, as I was no longer using it and a few weeks before that I deleted my Meetup account.  And now, I'm seriously contemplating deleting my Facebook account.  Twitter is still the shiny new toy so that will probably stick around for awhile.  But lately I've had nothing but stress over Facebook, of which I didn't think I was going to write about here but then realized 'it's my blog and I can write about whatever I want, the good, the bad and the ugly'.  Facebook, for me at least, has recently become a way of communicating cryptic messages via status updates.  Some of you reading this know what I'm talking about, others don't and I really don't feel like typing out the whole god awful story so just bare with me!  Basically what I'm trying to say, and not doing a very good job at it, is that Facebook is really just bringing me back to a high school level of petty bullshit and I'm sooooo over it! Who really needs to know what the hell you're doing every five minutes?  I've made my profile completely private, no one can search me or find me unless they are already my friend, and I don't think I'm going to participate much anymore.  Life is just too short, and it's so not worth it to be frustrated over a WEBSITE! 

Twitter I think is a different story.  Through Twitter I have found a ton of mom written blogs, all incredibly funny, and without Twitter I don't think I would have found them.  I'm really interested in exploring the 'mommy blogger' community because I love to blog; writing is such a good outlet and I'd like to think that I can write something worth reading!  I'm actually considering taking a writing class to brush up and maybe learn something.  But I digress....

I've made a few connections on Twitter, so far so good.  

Now, on to something else that's been on my mind:

Someone told me, today actually, that my blog is nothing but negativity.  Again, my blog, if you don't like it, don't read it.  I try to write everything with a sense of humor and I write from experiences that at the time maybe made me crazy, but later made me laugh.  

That being said, if you don't find my blog funny or worth reading, then don't read it! No one's holding a gun to your head!

Ok, re-reading this, this is definitely not my best work....sort of a long, drawn out ramble but I got out what I wanted to.  Hopefully the next one will be a little better thought out!

Yay!!! As of today I have lost a total of 15 pounds!  Which is pretty surprising considering the M & M's from Emma's Easter basket that I've been devouring lately.  I am so thrilled!  I might even celebrate with a glass of wine....nah, so not worth it!

In my attempt to lose the extra poundage I've been carrying around, I've cut out or cut back on a lot!  Wine, for instance, one of my favorite things.  I came to the conclusion that every time I had wine it was never just one glass, always several.  In addition to the calories I was racking up, I was also waking up slightly hung over.  And if you don't drink wine, the way I do at least (or any other alcoholic beverage), then you don't wake up with a bloody hang over.  That makes functioning every day so much easier! Without the hangover I mean.  It's amazing the things I come up with sometimes.  That being said, I've lost 15lbs. since cutting back on the booze.  I've also stopped eating 82 thousand calories which does help as well.

In other news, I saw myself in the mirror today and I looked somewhat thin.  I think I should throw the mirror away, as it's clearly out for deception.

ah the american dream

You know you're living the American Dream when you hear your husbands key in the door at 3pm and he walks in, excited about getting out of his work clothes and into his other work clothes to mow the lawn.

After he chows down on some grub he heads to the bedroom, and on his way shouts "wake me around 5, I'm really tired".

What about the lawn?

Madeline Alice Spohr

For the past few days I've been reading Heather Spohr's blog.  I started reading it when I kept seeing #maddie pop up on Twitter and did some investigating to find out who this #maddie person was.  I'm really glad that I did.  I'm determined to read every post, beginning to end.  I've cried more over this little girl, her family and friends, than I have in the last year.  I've also laughed, a lot.  Heather writes brilliantly and her blog and life and Maddie have sucked me in and will, I think, have a small grasp on me forever.  Little Maddie has been on my mind constantly lately and even typing this I'm near tears.  What a sweet, adorable, amazing spirit.  I can not even begin to imagine the pain and heartache that Heather and Mike are experiencing right now.  

I don't think that you can ever recover from the loss of a child, but for some reason I can't help but think that Heather and Mike will, someday, be ok.  They are so strong and I think will continue to honor Maddie, not just mourn her loss.  

Heather wrote an amazing tribute to Maddie, as well as made a video, which both can be seen on the website.  Read the tribute and watch the video with a box of kleenex, you'll need it.  

Heather and Mike, you are in my thoughts and I'm sure thousands of others.  Just keep breathing. 

I can see the headlines now....

Mother Loses It And Goes Ape-Shit In Target Because Small Child Won't Shut Her Trap

Ok, so that's probably a bit long for a headline, but something along those lines.  Target is no longer fun with Emma.  She turns into a raving lunatic.  Something in the Target air maybe.  The air that they pipe in which makes you spend more money.  I can never leave that store without spending at least $30 or more. $36 today, but that's good considering I bought only what was on the list.  And a pair of Dora sunglasses that I let Emma wear in an attempt to get her to SHUT UP.  I actually meant to put them back but forgot.  I'll pull them out when she's being exceptionally well behaved....good luck.

Every few days I receive this email from amazon.com:

Dear Amazon.com Customer,

We've noticed that customers who have purchased or rated Fisher-Price Kid-Tough Digital Camera Pink [Amazon Frustration-Free Packaging] have also purchased Sea Doo Aqua Master.  For this reason, you might like to know that Sea Doo - Aqua Master will be released on April 20, 2009.  You can pre-order yours by following the link below.

Why yes Amazon.com, after spending $49.99 on Fisher - Price Kid - Tough Digital Camera Pink [Amazon Frustration-Free Packaging] I really want to drop $399.99 on a Sea Doo - Aqua Master.  By the way, the Fisther - Price Kid - Tough Digital Camera Pink is total crap.  The pictures are totally awful and my kid can hardly push the button to take a picture.  Also, let's take into account where I live and exactly how realistic owning a Sea Doo - Aqua Master would be.   Thank you Amazon.com for such outlandish recommendations.