name brand dropping

A couple of weeks ago I made a visit to Target (prescriptions, diapers, etc).  First of all, Target isn't a store that I can leave without spending at least $60.  I always start out, after wrangling Emma into a cart, by perusing the clothing department for a fabulous (and cheap) find.  Many of us know that Target's women's clothing department carries, for the most part, two brands: Mossimo and Merona, as well as the new Isaac Mizrahi and whatever up and coming designer they find to make awkward clothes at dirt cheap prices.  But the majority is Mossimo and Merona.  A few short years ago I was shopping on the Mossimo side of the department.  Shorter shorts, lower cut tee's and tighter jeans.  And now it's happened, or rather happened awhile ago and I just haven't noticed, but I have moved on over to the Merona side.  And oh my is it bleak!  Ok, that's totally an exaggeration, it's really not that bad.  On this particular visit I saw some cute capri jeans and decided to try them on.  I never try anything on. Ever. I truly believe there is nothing worse than the lighting in changing rooms.  But I wasn't up for the hassle of having to go back and return said capris.  So I waited for the big dressing room because I did not want to take Emma out of the cart and then break the news that she'd have to get back in.  Holy lord!!  Super cute on the hanger, super gross on my actual person.  As soon as I zipped and buttoned my belly button disappeared and I'm pretty sure the bottom of my bra was touching the top of these horrid capris.  I don't think I've ever exited a dressing quite so fast, even with having to maneuver the cart out of the tiny door.   I did not spend $60 that day.  I purchased what I came for and left, absolutely horrified at what I witnessed in that dressing room.  Target, I still love you, but I'll be keeping my distance for awhile.

Now, on to this week's clothing...nightmare?  Not sure exactly what to call it.  A let down?  I don't know, you decide when you're done reading.  

I get email's every few days from Gap with coupon codes and sale info and because we have a Gap card we get an extra discount.  There was a great code for 20% off and in addition to that Old Navy was still doing there Stuff N' Save program which is 20% off as well.  I have quite a few bags of old clothes piled up just waiting to be sold so I thought I'd take advantage of this awesome deal.  I picked out a few things, new pair of pants, a cute cardy from Gap and two pairs of sunglasses from Old Navy.  The awesome deal here is the sunglasses, both pairs on sale for $4 and I had a 40% discount. Woohoo!!  This is even better because I have been in search of cute sunglasses since my last two pairs have been broken (one pair by Eric, the other by Emma).  Now I just hope these sunglasses are as cute on as they are on the website.  We'll see.  Anyways.  I placed my order.  I gathered up all the old clothes and made a trip over to Plato's Closet to sell.  I've been selling clothes there since high school....high school is the key word here.  Emma and I got there when they opened so we wouldn't have to wait and hung around for the 10 minutes it took to sort through what they wanted.  Keep in mind here I had two full bags of clothes stuffed to the brim.  They called me over and offered me $9.89 for two things.  A pair of Abercrombie shorts (will explain those bad boys later) and a pair of AE jeans which I was very anxious to get rid of because I will never ever be a size 14 again.  I picked my jaw up off the floor, collected my money and two bags and headed out.  I was so totally bummed.  Why didn't they want my clothes?!  Am I that un-hip? That un-cool?  And god forbid, that un-fashionable??  

The answer: No!  A few hours later I came back to reality and REALIZED that Plato's Closet is a store for teeny boppers to pawn off their Abercrombie & Fitch, Aeropostale, American Eagle, size 00 castoffs.  Not a store that is going to take my Old Navy, MERONA, Layers and JCrew discards.  Ok, so no more Plato's Closet, now where do I go?  After a little bit of online searching I found two places- Buffalo Exchange and Crossroads Trading.  Both stores pay on the spot (I'm not a fan of consignment).  Emma and I headed over there today.  After yesterdays disappointment I wasn't expecting much but 20 minutes later the teeny bopper salesperson (they're everywhere!) called me over and offered me $52 for half my stuff. DONE DEAL!!  I was so thrilled, and a little bit shocked.  Thank you, Crossroads Trading!!  I'm so glad I found a new place to take all my old crap clothes!  

Now, the explanation for the Abercrombie & Fitch shorts I was unfortunately hanging onto.  I bought them about a month after Emma was born when I was all of 118lbs.  Size 6. So cute.  But you know what, inappropriately too short! Glad they are out of my closet and no longer taunting me.  So thank you Plato's Closet, thank you for that, taking those off my hands.



Twitter. Facebook. MySpace. LinkedIn. Meetup. 

All social networking sites.  Also, incredible time wasters!  Looking back on the last, I don't know, however long I've been on these sites I can think of about a million other things I could have been doing.  I had a MySpace page in high school, I think, and have had one ever since. Facebook I've had for at least 3 or 4 years, LinkedIn for a few months, Meetup for about a year and Twitter is the newest; going on about two weeks with that one.

A few weeks ago I deleted my MySpace, as I was no longer using it and a few weeks before that I deleted my Meetup account.  And now, I'm seriously contemplating deleting my Facebook account.  Twitter is still the shiny new toy so that will probably stick around for awhile.  But lately I've had nothing but stress over Facebook, of which I didn't think I was going to write about here but then realized 'it's my blog and I can write about whatever I want, the good, the bad and the ugly'.  Facebook, for me at least, has recently become a way of communicating cryptic messages via status updates.  Some of you reading this know what I'm talking about, others don't and I really don't feel like typing out the whole god awful story so just bare with me!  Basically what I'm trying to say, and not doing a very good job at it, is that Facebook is really just bringing me back to a high school level of petty bullshit and I'm sooooo over it! Who really needs to know what the hell you're doing every five minutes?  I've made my profile completely private, no one can search me or find me unless they are already my friend, and I don't think I'm going to participate much anymore.  Life is just too short, and it's so not worth it to be frustrated over a WEBSITE! 

Twitter I think is a different story.  Through Twitter I have found a ton of mom written blogs, all incredibly funny, and without Twitter I don't think I would have found them.  I'm really interested in exploring the 'mommy blogger' community because I love to blog; writing is such a good outlet and I'd like to think that I can write something worth reading!  I'm actually considering taking a writing class to brush up and maybe learn something.  But I digress....
I've made a few connections on Twitter, so far so good.  

Now, on to something else that's been on my mind:

Someone told me, today actually, that my blog is nothing but negativity.  Again, my blog, if you don't like it, don't read it.  I try to write everything with a sense of humor and I write from experiences that at the time maybe made me crazy, but later made me laugh.  
That being said, if you don't find my blog funny or worth reading, then don't read it! No one's holding a gun to your head!

Ok, re-reading this, this is definitely not my best work....sort of a long, drawn out ramble but I got out what I wanted to.  Hopefully the next one will be a little better thought out!
Yay!!! As of today I have lost a total of 15 pounds!  Which is pretty surprising considering the M & M's from Emma's Easter basket that I've been devouring lately.  I am so thrilled!  I might even celebrate with a glass of wine....nah, so not worth it!


In my attempt to lose the extra poundage I've been carrying around, I've cut out or cut back on a lot!  Wine, for instance, one of my favorite things.  I came to the conclusion that every time I had wine it was never just one glass, always several.  In addition to the calories I was racking up, I was also waking up slightly hung over.  And if you don't drink wine, the way I do at least (or any other alcoholic beverage), then you don't wake up with a bloody hang over.  That makes functioning every day so much easier! Without the hangover I mean.  It's amazing the things I come up with sometimes.  That being said, I've lost 15lbs. since cutting back on the booze.  I've also stopped eating 82 thousand calories which does help as well.
In other news, I saw myself in the mirror today and I looked somewhat thin.  I think I should throw the mirror away, as it's clearly out for deception.

ah the american dream

You know you're living the American Dream when you hear your husbands key in the door at 3pm and he walks in, excited about getting out of his work clothes and into his other work clothes to mow the lawn.

After he chows down on some grub he heads to the bedroom, and on his way shouts "wake me around 5, I'm really tired".

What about the lawn?

Madeline Alice Spohr

For the past few days I've been reading Heather Spohr's blog.  I started reading it when I kept seeing #maddie pop up on Twitter and did some investigating to find out who this #maddie person was.  I'm really glad that I did.  I'm determined to read every post, beginning to end.  I've cried more over this little girl, her family and friends, than I have in the last year.  I've also laughed, a lot.  Heather writes brilliantly and her blog and life and Maddie have sucked me in and will, I think, have a small grasp on me forever.  Little Maddie has been on my mind constantly lately and even typing this I'm near tears.  What a sweet, adorable, amazing spirit.  I can not even begin to imagine the pain and heartache that Heather and Mike are experiencing right now.  

I don't think that you can ever recover from the loss of a child, but for some reason I can't help but think that Heather and Mike will, someday, be ok.  They are so strong and I think will continue to honor Maddie, not just mourn her loss.  

Heather wrote an amazing tribute to Maddie, as well as made a video, which both can be seen on the website.  Read the tribute and watch the video with a box of kleenex, you'll need it.  

Heather and Mike, you are in my thoughts and I'm sure thousands of others.  Just keep breathing. 
I can see the headlines now....

Mother Loses It And Goes Ape-Shit In Target Because Small Child Won't Shut Her Trap

Ok, so that's probably a bit long for a headline, but something along those lines.  Target is no longer fun with Emma.  She turns into a raving lunatic.  Something in the Target air maybe.  The air that they pipe in which makes you spend more money.  I can never leave that store without spending at least $30 or more. $36 today, but that's good considering I bought only what was on the list.  And a pair of Dora sunglasses that I let Emma wear in an attempt to get her to SHUT UP.  I actually meant to put them back but forgot.  I'll pull them out when she's being exceptionally well behaved....good luck.
Every few days I receive this email from amazon.com:

Dear Amazon.com Customer,
We've noticed that customers who have purchased or rated Fisher-Price Kid-Tough Digital Camera Pink [Amazon Frustration-Free Packaging] have also purchased Sea Doo Aqua Master.  For this reason, you might like to know that Sea Doo - Aqua Master will be released on April 20, 2009.  You can pre-order yours by following the link below.

Why yes Amazon.com, after spending $49.99 on Fisher - Price Kid - Tough Digital Camera Pink [Amazon Frustration-Free Packaging] I really want to drop $399.99 on a Sea Doo - Aqua Master.  By the way, the Fisther - Price Kid - Tough Digital Camera Pink is total crap.  The pictures are totally awful and my kid can hardly push the button to take a picture.  Also, let's take into account where I live and exactly how realistic owning a Sea Doo - Aqua Master would be.   Thank you Amazon.com for such outlandish recommendations. 
I love reading other mother's blog.  I love laughing out loud at other parent's mishaps, and the different types of humor used to deal with these mishaps.  I've come to believe it's a pre-requisite for having children, a sense of humor.  I honestly wouldn't know how I'd deal if I couldn't laugh at most of what  Emma does, or says, she's had a real potty mouth lately.

We've all had shit on our hands, and laughed about it later.  I hope.  We've all had to reach into the toilet at some point- whether it be to fish out a piece of jewelry or an overpriced Gymboree barrette.  We've all been embarrassed by our children in public, whether it's something horrendous coming out of there mouth....or Emma's booty shakin' dance moves while waiting in line at Taco Del Mar (again....yes, we hit it up twice in one day).

As Emma is nearing her 3rd birthday, her behavior is becoming more and more heinous.  She seems to be rockin' quite the 'tude lately.  I find myself getting so frustrated, then realizing how much more ridiculous I'm being at trying to get a 3 year old to recognize her mistakes.  This too shall pass flutters through my brain.  Yelling at a 3 year old?  Oh, yeah, brilliant.  Talk about in one ear and out the other.  That's not to say I don't discipline but I think I need to ease up a little...and laugh instead of...yell.  Or maybe just not yell quite so loud, it's not like she's deaf.


in yo face taxman....or so we thought

Update:  Taco Del Mar contacted me on Twitter and were so very apologetic about the mishap.  They are sending us a $20 gift certificate and coupons.  AWESOME!!  Emma is very excited about future "tortita's".  I'll be taking her to lunch there as soon as we get the gift certificate.  She's also a huge fan of their brownies!!  Thanks @Taco_Del_Mar !!!

Today is Tax Day.  Ah, tax day.  We're getting a pretty hefty return so I have no ill will for today whatsoever.  Taco Del Mar has been advertising for weeks that they'd be giving out FREE taco's on Tax Day.  I'm a big fan of anything free, as most of you all know, so I was ready to take full advantage of this wonderful offer.  I printed out the coupons from the website, of which there were no written restrictions.  Let's keep that in mind here.  Eric has a pretty light work load on Wednesday's so I decided to meet him in Redmond for lunch and free tacos.  With three coupons in hand we waited in line and began to place our order.  Three tacos for the three Payne's.  Except that apparently Emma, three years old (nearly) doesn't seem to count as an actual person, according to Taco Del Mar.  I was slightly baffled when the man across the counter said "just one per person", Eric replied "well she is a person" and he said "no, just big people".  Oh, right ok.  Oh wait, no no that's not right.  She's a person, the coupon doesn't list any restrictions.  I was quite baffled at the time and didn't think to make a big deal of it.  But now that I think about it, we are struggling (a lot) financially and when this opportunity for a free lunch came up I was quite excited.  We never go out to lunch or dinner or do anything really that costs us money as we can't afford it.  So the thought of the three of us going out to lunch together was really nice.  Until the man behind the counter squashed our hopes and dreams.  I twittered about this experience to which @Taco_Del_Mar responded saying they would do something about it.  I appreciate that Taco Del Mar.  Because I enjoy your tacos and think lil Emma deserves to enjoy one too!


Kids never perform when you want them to.

After a bazillion years of shit weather we finally got a nice sunny day.  70 degrees even.  We decided (as did the rest of Seattle) to take advantage of our zoo membership.  Now, in Seattle when the first sunshine emerges (after months and months of living under a gray cloud), the skin starts to come out.  And I mean a lot of skin.  We saw a lot of jiggle that day at the zoo, and it wasn't just the elephants.  I have images of cellulite forever burned in my brain.  But I did get some good pictures of my kid to help blur those out.

sweet visor... all she's missing is a track suit, a leathery tan, a Bingo dobber and a Virginia Slim. That's my girl!!

easter saturday

I'm not a religious person. I don't know why exactly we celebrate Easter since we, as a family, are not religious. But we do. So today we ventured over to  my parent's house in Magnolia where the community center hosts an egg hunt for the kids.  Due to the weather, the typical Easter wear was nowhere to be seen which was fine by me because I refuse to buy Emma a dress that she'll wear once for 45 minutes.  I'm just not that kind of parent.  As we're making our way to the community center parking lot Eric and Bill (mom's 'partner'1) are explaining to Emma the proper egg hunt tactics.  Eric explains to Emma that she need only to say "I'll rip your face off kid" of anyone that gets in her way as well as pumping her up with such fabulous winning phrases as, "Everyone's a winner, but you're the best" and "Keep your eye on the prize".  Really great life lessons for a 3 year old.

As we're standing around in the 0-3 age group of the parking lot, Eric spies the ringleader of this shin dig, holding a mega phone and getting ready to hop on her ladder to announce the egg hunt kick-off.  He asks her if Emma can say 'Happy Easter' in the mega phone.  She agrees and Emma hops up there and says her piece, all the while I'm tearing up slightly thinking "that's my girl!"  

Emma made out famously with a basket full of eggs along with 12 packages of fruit snacks...that's like two boxes, way to go kid!  Despite the few raindrops, we all had a great time and thankfully our little gem behaved herself in the race for eggs.

1 mom's partner: My mom's boyfriend, however, I refuse to say that my mother has a boyfriend so I simply refer to them as my parents so as not to have to explain. It's just easier, don't judge me, it's not worth it.



Emma and I have a routine. Every morning I wake up around 7, bring the computer to bed and check all my necessaries (email, facebook, news, twitter, etc). Shortly after I wake up, Emma wakes up and comes and gets in bed with me. We turn on the TV and watch our morning shows. It used to be Sesame Street but now she likes to watch Mickey Mouse Club House on Disney, which is fine because Sesame Street often runs the same show a bazillion times and that gets old. We lay in bed for about an hour until she says "I'm just so hungry", then it's time to get up and get movin'. We leave for the Y around 10:45 and she gets to play with the kids while I work my ass off. She absolutely loves the Y, like head over heels love. As soon as we get out of the car and to the elevator she greets whoever is waiting there, if anyone. If it's another kid around her age she'll hug them. Most parents think it's adorable but some look at me like "hello, boundaries!". Whatever, she's just friendly. Once get to the lobby and the elevator doors open she exclaims loudly "We Made It!!!". Once we make it up the stairs she runs to the check-in window of the Kids Club yelling "Hi Hi, it's me Emma!". She's always greeted with a smile- which is one of my favorite parts because I know that they enjoy her as much as she them. It's comforting to know that not only does she love going there but I'm pretty sure they love having her. She's usually in some sort of costume when I go back to pick her up, a princess dress or as of late a Spiderman costume, and yesterday the Spiderman costume was in addition to a tiger tail. Spider Tiger. I'll be sure to bring my camera with me more.

The point of this blog is, this is our routine and I love it. However in September our routine is going to change. Not a lot, but enough that it just won't be the same. Emma starts preschool in September, Tuesday and Thursday from 9:30 to 12:30. I know she is beyond excited to go to school, she talks about it all the time, but our Tuesday's and Thursday's just won't ever be the same.


a little ramble for wednesday

I'm a little bummed that the weather has turned again. I miss you sun, please come back!

Not as motivated for the gym today because of the weather but will go anyways and get in an awesome workout. Down 2 more pounds this week so far, for a total weight loss of 14lbs. I think that's pretty awesome but hope to lose another 2-4lbs. by Sunday. Easter brunch and dinner will be hard, I'll definitely need to watch myself. Wish me luck!!

Emma seems to be in a better mood today, not as much attitude as yesterday or the day before but it's still early! The house is pretty clean so I think we'll get some good one on one time in today, unfortunately it won't be outside.

Off to the Y now!


Dear Daughter,

Yesterday it seems as though you woke up in a haze of rebellion and as we are approaching the end of day 2 of this haze, I am starting to wonder, how long will this last my dear? You have been pushing the limits lately and I'm about at my wit's end.

I have re-laced your shoes countless times today. And how you can untie a double knot just baffles me...you sneaky squirrel you. Please don't do this anymore. I'm on the hunt for a pair of Crocs, free of those pesky laces, just hang in there until I find the right color. I promise it won't be long. In the meantime, keep your mitts of the laces missy!

You know that we sent the binky off to the binky fairy, and in return you received loads of sweet new Spring clothes. So let's stop asking for the binky, it's just not necessary. I hope you'll think about that the next time you open your mouth to say "binky, I want a binky please". However, thank you for saying please, let's keep that up.

And now, I few things I wish you'd stop saying as they are very quickly getting on my nerves:

"Nopey Nope Nope"

"I do it, I do it" as you try to put your sweater on not only backwards but also sleeves inside out and upside down.

"I want the goldfish", you can't live on friggin' goldfish, so hush up your face and eat your sandwich!! And not just the bread, the whole thing!

I know that you are just 2 1/2 so I'll leave you with these few things for now. Let's convene in a few days to discuss it.

Love you always,
Your Mother
after.... i don't know how long, i've decided to come back to blogspot...because really, my heart belongs to you blogspot. i've missed you.

gripes, joys and omg

How come after being sick for a week it takes another whole week to get back on track? Why is this? I'm feeling so much better but it's taken me literally all week to get semi- back on track. I didn't meal plan for this week so that was completely off and my eating has been less than desirable. Because I didn't meal plan Eric didn't have lunches for the week. Now, yes, he can make his own lunches but he never leaves enough time in the morning to do so. If a lunch isn't made for him he'll forget to eat (too busy usually to even think about it) and will come home famished. I guess my work out's have been okay, but really, since my eating has been so bad than what's the point? Isn't it something like 90% of what you put in your mouth... The house has been a mess. I'm currently looking at a stack of folded laundry that has been on the coffee table for 3 days now. I hope Spring gets here soon because that usually means the end of the cold and flu season. No more! Not to mention this weather has been downright shit and I'm just sick of it! It's cold and dreary and gross! When we start getting into April and the weather is still like this, is when I typically begin looking at Arizona real estate.

In other news...I took Emma to visit the prospective pre-school yesterday. Ever since I mentioned school a few months ago she's been talking about it nearly non-stop. She is beyond excited! She walked into the classroom and was immediately overjoyed. The teacher actually said she'd never seen a kid so excited and then I informed her that she's like that most everyday. Registration is May 12th and I will be there front and center to secure her spot in the Little Learner's 2009-2010 school year! Of course there is a catch: she has to be potty trained. That will be our Spring/Summer project.

This week at the gym I've spent my cardio time watching Ellen. It's perfect because I love her show and it sucks me in for a good 45-60 minutes of cardio. On her show lately she's been doing an "Ellen's Stimulus Package" where her intern goes around the country with the Gold Digger machine giving away cash to those in need. These people are beyond thrilled to have Ellen calling them and then crazy crazy when they find out why she's calling. It brings me to tears nearly everytime. So there I am, balling my eyes out to Ellen's Stimulus Package....then moments later I'm laughing hysterically as she tells a Starbucks Barista in an ear bud what to say to customers. If you don't know what I'm talking about than you clearly don't watch Ellen...

Eric brought home from work today 6 Adirondack chairs and a game table. Yes, a game table. As if we need more furniture in this house. I'll post a photo later and you'll see what I mean. I'm excited about the Adirondack chairs, they'll be great in the backyard this summer but a game table?? Really? Oy.